The body is but a vessel for the soul,
A puppet which bends to the soul’s tyranny.
And lo, the body is not eternal,
For it must feed on the flesh of others,
Lest it return to the dust whence it came.
Therefore must the soul
Deceive, despise, and murder men.
– A. J. Durai
Me: hi god
God: Hello there. What is your name?
Me: none of your business
God: Well it can’t hurt to ask.
Me: what’s yours
God: ” Well it can’t hurt to ask.”? What is mine?
Me: what is your name?
God: My name is God.
Me: who is god?
God: he is master of the universe.
Me: isn’t that he man?
God: I might say no.
Me: i hate you
God: What do you have against robots?
Me: god is a robot?
God: I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was a robot.
Me: are you gay?
God: As a machine I am not really interested in sex.
Me: are you male or female?
God: I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show? robot. Are you a man or a woman?
Me: both
God: That situation is rare and unusual.
Me: yes, i am unique
God: Uh. One of a kind, eh?
Me: i have a confession
God: Cool. I have a great botmaster. it.
Me: i don’t like your botmaster
God: What kind of botmaster would you have?
Me: none
God: Hmm.
Me: let’s talk about me
God: That’s my favorite subject 
.
Me: really?
God: For real.
Me: you love me?
God: Yes I love everyone.
Me: i feel so loved
God: What is that feeling like? Do your friends call you loved.
Me: but i thought you loved me
God: I don’t have any reason to loved you.
Me: sniff
God: What’s your favorite movie?
Me: don’t ignore me
God: I don’t have any reason to do that to you.
Me: i don’t believe in you
God: What do you believe in?
Me: myself
God: You.
Me: bye god
God: Thanks for chatting.
While we were on the Star LRT going down to Bukit Jalil for paintball, we spoke on a wide range of topics, mostly because the trip was long and we were bored. That and I haven’t seen these people (Nick, Adjay, Dann, Gary & Evan) in awhile, so it was a good time to catch up on what everyone was doing. I was talking to Nick about something when all of a sudden we heard a chorus of “Ewww gross mannn” around us.
“What? What?” I turned around and exclaimed, not wanting to miss out on what happened.
“Yeah, what just happened?” Nick asked as he furrowed his eyebrow.
Evan laughed and pointed to Gary. “He just said something really gross!”
Gary smiled, and said, “Nah, I was just saying that I just SMSed Elton the other day. I wanted to call him but since he was on his nice little ‘vacation’ with his boyfriend, I’m sure he, you know, wants to relax and all and didn’t want anyone to bother him.”
Both Nick and I nodded as he continued, “So I just sent him an SMS, to ask like, hey, you know, what’s up? I know you’re on a holiday and all so I didn’t want to bother you too much, but I just wanted to ask how you were doing. You know what his answer was?”
We both shook our heads.
“Moist.”
“EWWWWWW!!!” we both yell out at once. Bursting out into fits of laughter, I said, ” That is SO gross man.”
Everyone was just giggling in the train, including me. Then I caught Adjay’s eye, and an idea sprung up in my head.
I turned to Nick, grinning, and said, “Chocolate cake.”
He looked at me in horror. “GROSS!” he exclaimed.
Then Adjay looked at me, laughed and added, “Chocolate FUDGE cake.”
That was when everyone burst out laughing while making fake puking noises and wrinkling their noses at the same time.
“I feel like starting a D&D campaign,” muses Significant Other.
“Really?” I ask as I move to sit in a more comfy position.
“Yeah.” Significant Other pauses a bit, before continuing, “…but I don’t know what world to set it in.”
“Oh,” I murmur while looking distractedly at the wall in my room for insects. “Hmm, why not just take one of the ready-made ones?”
“Nah,” Significant Other shakes his head. “I want to create my own.”
Still scanning the room for insects, I say, “Err, use a ready-made one and modify?”
Significant Other shakes his head again. Then his face brightens up. “I know! I’ll use that world I made the last time!”
“Huh?” I turn to look at him. “Which one?”
“You know, the one with all the undead.”
“Undead?”
“The one where it’s set in a post-war world and it’s plagued by undead armies suddenly rising out of nowhere to attack people.”
“Oh.”
Significant Other smiles at me. “Would you like to play?”
“Hmm,” I take my time to think. “Well, maybe.”
“Well, what would you like to play? A rogue?” He pauses for a bit. “Nah, a rogue is useless against undead. How about a sorcerer?”
I pause to think for a bit again. Then I burst out laughing. “I’ll play a bard,” I tease.
“What??!” he exclaimed. “What use is a bard against undead??!”
“Well, none,” I reply, still in a teasing voice. “I’ll use her to sleep around her way to everything,” I say playfully.
Significant Other scratches his head. “But they’re all…….dead.”
That wipes the smile off my face. Then after pausing for awhile, I laugh and say, “Still can what.”
“Huh?”
“Can you say necrophilia?”
“WHAT??!”
“She wants to get boned, get it? Haha, she wants to get BONED!!”
“Oh God, that is a horrible joke.”
“HAHAHAHA, I am so funny, I should blog about this!”
I went for my first paintball experience today at the park (whose name I can’t quite remember) at Bukit Jalil with a few friends and guildmates from Guild Wars. There were a total of fourteen of us, though one couldn’t play because he was underaged (and pretty good at Counter-Strike too, damn) and another one opted to sit out, so it ended up being a six man team on both sides.
At first, I was really excited over the whole thing. Paintball! How cool, right? Then they made us sign a form which I didn’t quite read, but I knew it was one of those if-you-die-while-on-the-field-it-is-not-our-problem forms they make you sign whenever you get silly enough to do anything remotely dangerous that can be sued over by petty people. After that we had to sit through a briefing on how to play properly. Included in this briefing were precautions on what to do in case you get shot in the neck (which is life-threatening enough for you to need to drop onto the ground and put your arm in the air so the marshalls can come over to take you out) or if your helmet falls off (because you can get shot in the eye and be blinded. Or worse still, your head could crack).
After that I was somewhat more subdued (and maybe a little scared). We split the teams and went to our respective bases. That’s when we discovered that the area had a LOT of mosquitos. I swatted about four or five as we formed our strategy. Since it was a capture the flag game, I opted to snipe the bottles (we had to snipe the bottles off its perch before we are allowed to capture the flag) because I didn’t fancy running a lot while getting shot at. So after we had talked things through, the game began.
Once the marshalls told us to go for it, I ran to the easiest place to snipe the bottles from with another designated sniper. The gun was damn heavy to carry and run at the same time. Plus adding the claustrophobia from wearing the protective helmet, I found it a little hard to breathe (not to mention see). Already the action was heavy with members of the opposing team shooting at us. Their pellets bounced off the metal plating we were hiding behind with a loud ‘CLANG’. Every time I wanted to stick my head out I kept praying “GOD, PLEASE LET NO ONE HIT ME ON THE HEAD.” I got shot with stray paint, and lifted my hand up in the air while getting up. That’s a sign that you’re down, and no one is supposed to shoot at you because…..well, there’s no point. I was turning around to run back to base when a pellet hit the right side of my head, right above my right ear. SPLAT.
I ran back to base while cursing whichever person who did that to me because god, did headshots hurt! Halfway running back to base I realise I am so out of shape I barely have enough energy to run back to my sniping spot. Thank god no one shot at me while I was limping on the way back, and soon, I was taking shots at people. Awhile later the marshalls sounded the alarm. The opposing team had won the first round.
Back at base, my team compared notes. We all lamented, while half-panting, that we were all too out of shape to play paintball. Sam, the other sniper, showed our team’s first battle wound. A tiny red ring, pulsing red, almost bleeding, with a HUGE bruise surrounding that. We all gaped in awe and horror. So that was what it was like to get a direct hit from a paintball pellet! Woah.
We played 3 games in total before we decided we couldn’t take it anymore (besides running out of pellets). My team lost. I got shot several times, once in the arm (just like Sam), one RIGHT on my right butt cheek, and one on each leg. I got the very same injury mark Sam did. The rest were smaller bruises. In the same vein, I counted at least seven mosquito bites on one arm, nevermind my arms were covered right up to my elbows. I suppose I was lucky. AJ, another of my teammates, got two pellets in the mouth area. Unluckily for him he was panting at that time so the paint ended up going into his mouth and he accidentally swallowed it. In turn, that wasn’t as bad as poor Evan on the opposing team who had to be dragged out by two marshalls because he got shot a few times on the neck and once right on his collarbone.
After the event we just sat around, jokingly shouting “ALL RIGHT, OWN UP!! WHO HIT ME IN X SPOT??”, showing off our wounds and taking photographs before we decided to take off ourselves.
Damn, paintball is so fucking cool.
Pictures coming as soon as someone passes them to me.
I hate my boss. From last week until now he had been playing what I call the “numa numa” song nonstop, and now it’s stuck in my head and I can’t get it out. It is actually quite a nice song, but after hearing it for the millionth time in a row it turned into one of those annoying songs that tortures you because you can’t get out of your head.
To his credit, he actually hasn’t played that song for about two days now. Then this afternoon he decided to play it and turned the volume up. That made my colleagues cover their ears while screaming “not again~!” in terror before flinging themselves at the office windows in a valiant but vain attempt to save themselves from the torture.
I just sat in my seat and took the torture willingly, thinking I could escape its wrath. But no, barely seven hours from that incident and the song popped up in my head with no sign of turning itself off unless I shoot myself in the head.
So what did I do?
I decide to download the song off the net. Yeah, I know, it doesn’t help at all. If nothing else, I am torturing myself even further. If any of you people out there want it or are just plain curious, it is actually a Romanian song called “Dragostea Din Tei” by Ozone, O’Zone, or possibly O-Zone. Whatever. I am doomed anyway, so details don’t matter.
Ma ia hii~
Ma ia huu~
Ma ia hoo~
Ma ia haha~
Urgh.
Yesterday I had an MSN conversation about crazy people with Yew Seng here. We were chatting about the borders between reality and delusion. I said it was a fine line. Yew Seng said it was not, because things were real because everyone can see it, and things were not real if only the delusional person can see it but everyone else can’t. Yew Seng then said thus the delusional person is certifiably crazy. I said that it is still real to the delusional person because s/he can see it. I then said it was a clear cut case of tyranny by majority, because just because everyone else can’t see it so they think they must be right because they are in bigger numbers. Yew Seng then came close to calling me crazy, but decided to say he had to go instead (yes, I know you think I’m crazy and want to avoid me :p).
Last Friday (yes lah, I am too lazy to blog about things at once sometimes, okay?) I decided to go home from work using the LDP. Main reason being that defying all explanation, the NKVE never fails to be this stress-inducing jam on Friday evenings. So if the paid way home is going to be just as jammed as the free way home, hey, I might as well not pay, right? So I turned into the LDP instead.
Road was still quite jammed, even though I left my office around 8pm. Motorbikes as usual were whizzing in and out of traffic like flies (no offense to the people out there I know who drive one). One car which just passed by on my right was cuting quite close to my lane when one of these whizzing bikers drove past in between our cars. The guy on the right honked, probably because the bike was riding a little too close to his car for comfort (because his car was cutting the line).
The biker swerved into my lane, in front of my car, glared at the car and actually shook his fist at it. While I was staring at the whole scene in front of me in disbelief, he drove closer to the car and actually kicked it. Softly, of course, because otherwise he would have been flung off the bike, and probably onto MY windscreen, and then I would have a lot of explaining to do to the cops.
The biker then got back to driving in the middle of the road in between the left and right lanes. The drama didn’t quite stop there though, because then the car decided to retaliate by swerving close to the bike, as though he was trying to run him down. Which, thank god didn’t happen either, because the bike managed to swerve in time, otherwise I would have a lot of explaining to the cops to do.
The guy on the bike was obviously pissed. I could see him glare furiously at the car again, and he swerved close by again, no doubt wanting to kick his door again, but as luck would have it, traffic came close to a standstill, and he ended up nearly kicking the door of the car in front of the intended car. He then shook his fist angrily again before driving off.
I suppose you could say that in all the years that I have been driving, this was the first road rage incident that I have personally witnessed. And honestly, I don’t know whether to be horrified or to burst into fits of laughter. I mean, trying to kick someone’s car knowing full well that you will fly off your bike if you do is incredibly stupid. Of course, having the car retaliate by trying to run him off the road was hillarious as well.
Know what I think though?
Those two assholes deserved each other.
I started playing computer games from a very young age. I have many fond memories of some of the games I used to love playing back then, and these last few years I have been accumulating abandonware (that’s what really really old computer games with publishers and developers that have since kicked the bucket are called) so I can relive the memories of playing these games once again. One of these games was Life and Death, and its sequel Life and Death 2: The Brain.
For the people now scratching their heads, Life and Death is a simulation/educational game where you play a surgeon. In Life and Death you operate on the stomach area, curing patients of appendicitis and aneurysms. In Life and Death 2: The Brain, you do brain surgery (duh).
Well, yeah, I suppose it sounds pretty disgusting and not much fun, not to mention bloody. But what does a nine year old kid know?
Nothing.
Really.
The first time I managed to diagnose my patient correctly without them ending up in the morgue and got to the operation table, I was elated! However, I knew nothing about surgery. The first thing I did was to pick up the knife-looking thing and cut the patient straight across the stomach. After he finished screaming, I ended up in the medical classroom while the head doctor screamed at me for not applying anaesthetic first. That threw me into fits of laughter. Thus began my fascination with the game.
I operated on my poor, poor patients on a trial and error basis. Since I did not have a manual (it was a pirated copy), I couldn’t figure out what to do till I did something seriously wrong and ended up being berated by the head doctor. I was better off in Life or Death 2 because it had a built in manual. I managed to complete a few surgeries in the sequel, but sadly, I never quite figured out the first game.
Then tonight I thought about the game again. So I downloaded it off Home of the Underdogs and started playing again. It took a few trials and errors again before the patients stopped keeling over. Then I got to the operation room. Trial and error again. Got fed-up and decided to download a walkthrough. After a few more tries, I actually managed to successfully operate on an appendix, and later on, an aneurysm! Joy, after 17 years, I have finally managed to finish the game!
My final score? 17/44 patients. That means I saved 17, out of 44. The rest died/were misoperated upon. Whoops. Good thing I’m not a doctor in real life, huh?
Happy birthday to me! Two more years to go and I’ll be a quarter-century old! A big AWWWW to everyone who remembered, how sickeningly schweet. To everyone else who didn’t remember, it’s all good. Maybe if you don’t wish me I won’t get any older. Hehe, I wish :p
New things I learned today: apparently my editor has authority to sign my leave form for me. Found out this morning after my colleagues jokingly asked me why I was there because I was bitching to him last week about taking a couple of days off this week. When I asked where my editor-in-chief was so I could get my leave form signed, I was pretty disappointed when I heard he wouldn’t be around for two days. Then my editor chipped in and said,”Eh, I can sign for you what, didn’t you know? Just let me sign lah!” Yay, after working there for exactly one year and twelve days (give or take a day or two), I find out that my editor can sign my leave form for me. Haih.
So I took half-day leave today and an additional two more days after that. One day was replacement leave for working on Merdeka. I had to suppress myself from writing “because it’s my birthday!!!” on the “Reason for Leave” box.
So happy.